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The 2012 NBA All Star Game is behind The City Beautiful, and I think I speak for the rest of the residents of Orlando when I say I’m glad its over. I will be posting multiple blogs on my views of what happened over the course of David Sterns Circus coming into town so for my first entry I will be talking about the Top 5 Absent Rappers From All Star Weekend.


This weekend was probably the biggest “Who’s Who” in town for the Hip-Hop community ever, clearly making Classic Weekend look like a State Fair. All your usual suspects were here, from Gucci Mane, Rick Ross, Yo Gotti to newcomers Titty Boi 2 Chainz (ugh, well sort of newcomer) and Future. There is a long list of people that were here, but something I did notice is that there were some people that are pretty prominent right now in Hip-Hop and probably cost half the price of these Trap Stars to bring into your building. Some of the people I list may have been in town so if they were, then that club failed to promote it enough to get it above the radar and I stand corrected.


5. 50 Cent
Curtis Jackson was absent from the festivities this weekend for some unexplained reason. His boy Floyd “Money” Mayweather was in town at Vain, yet 50 let Diddy and Birdman throw some of the biggest (and overpriced) parties in town, which ironically were at a venue that is not even in business!
CORRECTION: Apparently 50 was in town as he was shown sitting next to Mayweather at Amway on Saturday Night, whether he was at any of the parties that Mayweather was at, I do not know, and if he was, they definitely left him off the flyer.


4. Big Sean
Clearly no club or promoters was making ‘that motherfucker hammertime’ as B.I.G. Sean-Don did not appear at any clubs over the weekend. Most likely due to scheduling conflicts as he is on tour with Trey Songz for his Anticipation 2our but still surprising.


3. Childish Gambino
This would have been a hipsters dream come true if this was to happen over the weekend. I don’t think this would have drawn the same crowd as the people going to the Bruh-Bruh Car Show, I mean the car show at Roxy on Saturday hosted by Plies but still. I think this guy has a serious following in the O and could have drawn some money if booked at the right venue like maybe The Social or BackBooth.


2. Mac Miller
The guy I blame for bringing back those awful snap-back hats, and Hip-Hops #3 White Guy behind Eminem & Yelawolf, Mac Miller, was nowhere to be found this weekend. Perhaps his raps aren’t up to All Star Weekend caliber, somewhat like my #3 entry, but I still feel he could have packed out a party on the East Side or even a party catered towards the college crowd Downtown and I’d imagine his fee, also like my #2, wouldn’t be anywhere near the price of these other rappers to walk into the building.


1. Wiz Khalifa and Taylor Gang
Now this one, I feel extremely adamant about. Perhaps its because Wiz’s Taylor Gang Records recently acquired my favorite rapper ever, Juicy J of Three 6 Mafia, or maybe the irony of them not being in town when Kanyes ex-chick and Wiz’s new chick, Amber Rose, was hosting not one but TWO parties in town. Why did one of the clubs off OBT or Downtown not having a Tailored Trippy Mane Party? In the words of the Juice Man, “now that’s paper”.

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Well we’ve heard the rumors, now all we can do is wait for the press conference. The NBAs most powerful big-man and Orlandos hometown hero, Dwight Howard, is apparently being sought after by one of the most talented teams in the NBA, the Los Angeles Lakers.


It’s almost like its 1996 all over again. The Orlando Magic, have made playoff runs, shit, they even made it to The Finals a couple years ago, but have yet to capture that brass ring that they have longed for since becoming a franchise in 1989.  In the 90s, the big man that brought them to the finals, Shaq-Fu himself, couldn’t do it. Now, in 2011, the new self-proclaimed Superman, has yet to do it either, even in a new arena.


Is this not like a weird case of Deja-Vu for Orlando? Same position, same nickname, same team offering him a spot, everything. Will Dwight leave Orlando? Of course he will, He wants a ring just as bad as Lebron does. Sadly, he wouldn’t have the coaching of Phil Jackson behind him but he would be joining Kobe Bryant, Ron Artest Metta World Peace, former teammate Matt Barnes, among other superstars.


I still say that cute little celebrity basketball game that Dwight put on was him sugar-coating all the fans so when he leaves he isnt looked at as too much of an asshole because “he brought basketball to the city when there wasn’t any”, right?! What a swell guy that Howard is. I would have rather had a rap album with heavy Fu-Schnickens features than that game.


How awesome would it be if Dwight said fuck the Lakers, and took his talents to South Beach to join Hulk Hogan & the N.W.O Lebron James? Then Orlando would have an actual reason to boo the Heat when they come to town as opposed to this bizarre hatred for Lebron James that Magic fans have for no reason other than just to be ignorant. There isn’t THAT many people from Ohio in this city.


We still have one more season with Dwight unless some crazy trade happens, but one thing is for sure: Superman is leaving the building sooner or later.

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Dwight Howard brought professional basketball back to Orlando, even if it was only for one night. With the impending NBA lockout, this may be the only action Magic fans see all year. If that is the case this also may be the last time we see Dwight Howard representing Orlando, with his upcoming free agency next season.

There were close to 10,000 fans in UCF arena last night ready to catch a glimpse of the current Magic roster, as well as some old school magic players. Only days after what was supposed to be the regular season tip-off in the NBA, this exhibition game featured a team of “New School” Magic players versus a team of “Old School” Magic players.

The night had many memorable moments, but for old school Orlando Magic fans the star of the show was Penny Hardaway. At the age of 40, Penny isn’t quite the explosive young point guard we remember in the 90′s, actually, I only recall him scoring one three pointer (which sent the crowd into a frenzy), but this night wasn’t about stats. The Hardaway homecoming has been twelve long years in the making, and having Penny on the court in Orlando, regardless of his performance, was magical. In the end Penny’s team of “Old School” players beat out the “New School” 114-102.

Players who participated included Howard’s current teammates Gilbert Arenas, Brandon Bass, Quentin Richardson, Jameer Nelson and Ryan Anderson. Former Magic players who played included the previously mentioned Penny Hardaway, Courtney Lee, Steve Francis, Mike Miller, Matt Barnes, Rashard Lewis, Trevor Ariza and Marcin Gortat.

I hate to say it, but if I were Otis Smith I would be wondering how all this “Old School” talent got away. The “Old School” team definitely outplayed the “New School” team with strong performances from Courtney Lee, Matt Barnes, and Rashard Lewis. The “New School” team looked a little rusty, except for Brandon Bass. Bass was the strongest player of the night for the “New School”, other than Dwight. Of course, this was just an exhibition game.

Rapper Lil Wayne and boxer Floyd Mayweather served as celebrity coaches. Lil Wayne walked into the arena to a thunderous cheer, before his name was even announced.

Check out some video highlights below:

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…I’m the kiiiiing”………..?



Well, Hulk Hogan Lebron James and the n.W.o. Miami Heat didn’t win the WCW Heavyweight Title NBA Finals, but thats ok, like any good heel they’ll be back next year talking shit and pissing people off and I will again be on their side because they played the perfect villain the entire season and how can you not like that??


Yes, the finals were a great series. Close games, shit talking, viral videos, fights, everything Vince McMahon Daniel Stern wanted.


The NBA Finals do not get to say they had the greatest play of the year, nor do the NBA playoffs for that matter. No, that title goes to just a regular season game with quite possibly the scariest man in all of basketball, Kevin Garnett. Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you….The Dick Slap.





TAKE DAT WIT’CHU!!!!

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So after I get home from the dentist this morning, I turn on the TV to watch a little SportsCenter. Luckily for me (and anyone that hates the Miami Heat), it was entirely centered around one thing: How badly LeBron James is choking in the NBA Finals. Even I’ll admit, after a while, it felt a little over the top. The anchors literally asked every, single person that appeared on the show to predict how many points he would score in tonight’s Game 5. But finally, after more highlights on top of some brutal commentary about the the so-called King’s dreadful Game 4 performance, Hannah Storm and Kevin Negandhi hit Bron-Bron with the knockout, uppercut haymaker as they introduce this hilarious, degrading montage. Within seconds, I hit the instant replay button on my DVR as I primed my phone to capture what I knew was about to be some funny ass shit:

You know, they are giving this guy a really hard time right now. At certain points, I find myself close to almost… feeling bad for the dude. But then I am quickly reminded of what a complete douche he is. He asked for every bit of this, from the deciding of “The Decision“, to that embarrassing, fateful day that he and his two buddies took to the stage and had a fruity ass pose-off to introduce themselves to Miami as some sort of sanctimonious superhero squad. Regardless, as he watched this today, I know that he was piiissed. In fact, it sounds like The Chosen One is just having a shitty day altogether… He mentioned to a reporter earlier that he wasn’t able to sleep much last night which has been the case as of late. And wouldn’t you know it, ol’ LBJ was up late last night, at 2:30 AM, venting his idiotic frustrations on Twitter:





Anyway, sorry to get off on such a tangent. This is where the real(ly funny) story begins. Different NBA analysts in the media are speculating that James’ poor performance may be due to some personal issues that he’s dealing with off the court. ESPN analyst Stephen A. Smith tweeted a comment regarding the situation earlier today which read:





Makes you think… What could be going on in LeBron’s personal life that would cause such a decline in performance? Who knows..? Well, apparently now, everyone does. Rumors are being heavily circulated that my man, Rashard Lewis (Washington Wizards Forward), banged had a sexual encounter with LeBron’s girlfriend, Savannah, during a visit to Miami. 97.9 KBXX The Box in Houston was the first to publicly report the story:

“I have a very reliable source who clubs and drinks with all of the athletes that come through Orlando. He was all over the Tiger Woods issue and knew what all happened with Tiger prior to it being released publicly. My buddy has a place in Orlando, Lake Nona to be exact, and he lives among some athletes that live there in Orlando. Needless to say he golfs, drinks, and parties with some of the best people in central Florida. So when word got to him while at the bar last night, he called me. Word got out while drinking with friends, that Rashard Lewis slept with LeBron’s girl while visiting South Beach.”

This is so hysterically funny to me for some reason. I guess I’m just an asshole. And it was so unexpected. And I will always look at Rashard as one of my favorite, beloved Magic players of all time. And LeBron… He’s just a real dick. Who even knows if the rumors are true, but what I do know is, Rashard Lewis was the #2 trend on Twitter in the US this afternoon and his name was in the top 10 trends worldwide. As a general rule of thumb when it comes to NBA players gettin’ it in with gold-diggers, where there’s smoke, there’s pretty much always fire. Just think back to the days when LeBron played for… uh, that one team in… Ohio I think? An alleged herpes-suffering teammate, Delonte West, was said to have had sex with the poor man’s mother. Okay, maybe I do feel a little bad for him. This really is just some flagrantly disrespectful shit. ….That being said, this tweet from i_InspireYOU that I saw earlier is fucking hilarious.





Of course this is going to add more fuel to the already absurd LeBron James media circus that is the NBA. But regardless of which current star of the league is having sex with the two-time MVP’s family members, this whole thing comes down to playin’ ball. Nothing else. Which team is going to grind it out and take the trophy? The series so far is truly a throwback to some classic match-ups that have taken place throughout the history of the renowned NBA championship playoff. Great players come back from a game like James just played in Game 4, and they are hungry for redemption. This is exactly what “the villain” wanted: all or nothing. Well he definitely got it, and tonight is his chance to prove himself. It’s gonna be a brawl on the parquet y’all! I suggest you tune into ABC and watch it go down, tonight, starting at 8:30.


Just for Fun Prediction: LeBron puts up 24 pts. Mavs win by 4.


*UPDATE* – Lebron goes for a triple double, scoring 17 points, but the Mavs still managed to beat the Heat by 9 points. In other news, I’m sorry to report that Rashard Lewis has denied all rumors regarding Lebron’s girlfriend and himself. Oh well, it was fun for a day.


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