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I have argued, bickered and fought for the android for over a year now. When I bought the EVO 4G I swore up and down it was the best phone in history. I had graphs and charts to prove why it was better. Now, one year and two months have passed since I have purchased this phone. The verdict is in.
I hate the EVO 4G.
Sure, the screen is big, crisp and clear. What good does that do when the screen is only lit up for half the day before the battery dies. About four months ago I finally gave in and purchased an extended battery. My sleek thin EVO 4G went from looking like this:
To this:
Now I know the EVO isn’t the only Android phone, and I am sure the HTC Thunderbolt and Motorola Droid X have learned from the EVO’s mistakes, but at the end of the day I am positive Apple will win this battle. I have owned four Apple laptops, but I am not a fanboy for Apple. Getting rid of the “Save As” option in Lion is fucking retarded, and so is the new “natural scrolling” (How is it natural when you have been “naturally” doing it the other way since Windows 3.1?). The good people at Apple are FAR from perfect, but I think it’s safe to say they have making cell phones and music players down to a science.
Where is this coming from? Well, Steve Jobs resigned in the last 24 hours, which left me reminiscing about all the fond Apple memories I have had while he reigned over this great company. I think it is time for me to come clean while this genus is still with us on earth, and admit that I was wrong.
The iPhone is better than the EVO (and most likely every other Android on the market).
I could not have come to this conclusion at a better time, because yesterday pretty much every media outlet reported that my cell phone provider, Sprint, will be carrying the iPhone 5 come mid October. I have been a Sprint customer for seven years and am beyond satisfied with their customer service, not to mention I don’t remember my last non-elevator related dropped call. Data is blazing fast on Sprints 4G network. With AT&T not know for its quality, coverage or speed, this will be a huge boost in sales for Sprint, and without a doubt will hurt AT&T. Sprint carrying the iPhone will leave T-Mobile as the last major carrier without the iPhone (unless they merge with AT&T which now looks unlikely). This in my opinion is a crushing blow to Android. I believe there are many Android users in denial, like I was, about the iPhones superiority. When they are given the option to get the iPhone after an extended period as an Android user they will make the switch. Android reminds me of Windows. It freezes, crashes, runs slow and just plain doesn’t work sometimes. I have never had this problem with Apple products.
I expect this Android nightmare to end with the purchase of my iPhone 5 come mid October.
I will now end with this totally unrelated clip of Special K in a High Tide Harry’s commercial
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Call me nostalgic, but to commemorate the launch of Last Nights Hype, and the transformation of Orange County Concepts, I thought it would be an appropriate to recap the last four years of memories we have shared together. In the last four years we have published 685 blog posts (this makes 686) and this week we expect to top 17,000 event photos.
One thing we have always prided ourself on is our photography. We have had some of the greatest photographers in Orlando on staff over the past few years including (but not limited to) J. Chris Callahan, Erik Spradling, Jon Longstaff, and our current main photographer Allycrunk. We always made it a priority to provide quality edited photos, not some point and click bullshit like most of the other promotional companies are uploading. We have also always made it super simple to access photos that we took at an event, click and download, no annoying membership logins, shiiiit, you can even download them straight from our Facebook page.
As we turn the page from Orange County Concepts to Last Night’s Hype, I thought it would be fun to post what I thought are the very best photos our website has EVER published. With an archive of photos as large as ours is, (173 event galleries) this list has taken a few days to compile. I think it shows an accurate depiction of just how fucking awesome our parties were, and still are. It also serves as a history lesson on Orlando nightlife, and the trends that we started way back before some of you even had your drivers license.
#20 THE CRUNK CASTLE (CrunkRAWK House Party) 6/8/07
Photo by: TJ The Photographer (See the full gallery here)
So this might be a little embarrassing. As you may have heard, our house parties were pretty awesome. It was even mentioned in last months issue of Drink Magazine. We had a little house we called “The Crunk Castle” in East Orlando. It was not uncommon for 400 or more people to show up any given weekend and wreck the place. We always had a DJ, and often had a photographer. Keep in mind this was a HOUSE in a normal middle class neighborhood. The neighbors hated us, the cops showed up 14 times in one year, and lucky for us our out of state landlord didn’t evicted us nearly fast enough. Gunshots, stolen cars, window bashings. You name it, we saw it. The girl digging for gold in the bottom left of this photo amidst all the madness is priceless.
#19 SCOOP DE MAYO 5/3/08
Photo by: J. Chris Callahan (See the full gallery here)
The caption was added to this photo before it was politically incorrect to use “homo” or “gay” as an insult. Thanks to the NBA’s “Think B4 you speak” campaign we now know better! We also love the gay community, case in point our party at Mr. Sisters every Sunday. Seriously though, this party SUCKED. It was a block party thrown by Whats2Hot that took up the entire Scoop’s parking lot with a huge stage, and an entires day worth of entertainment. The event promised to bring well over a thousand party people. Only problem is the promoter forgot to, um, bring anybody. Now that is Not2Hot, but good for a nice laugh
#18 SOME ASSHOLE PASSES OUT IN BUSHES AT SHIT SHOW @ POUNDERS 6/21/08
Photo by: J. Chris Callahan (See the full gallery here)
No explanation needed here.
My favorite part was when they put the leaves over his head.
#17 ERIK DRAVEN’S SUPER BOWL HOUSE PARTY 2/1/09
Photo by: Colombia (See the full gallery here)
When you show your manhood to a group of ladies at a house party, a laugh is the last response you want to get. Unfortunately for our buddy King Kong this was the norm. Nice dick!
#16 LEGIT. @ DUNGEON 4/30/10
Photo by: Familiar Joe (See the full gallery here)
“You mean there was another electronic music party at Dungeon before riot?” Yes. We threw it. Unfortunately we had a shitty sound system, no lights, no CO2 canisters, and no dubstep (as in no one knew what the fuck it was yet). We also unfortunately decided to launch the party at the beginning of summer, so it was very short lived. It was long enough to raise a few eyebrows though, and next thing you know “Riot!” was born. You’re welcome, again.
#15 BARACK OBAMA PRESIDENTIAL CAMPAIGN RALLY @ AMWAY ARENA 10/20/08
Photo by: Colombia (See the full gallery here)
Yes, we even got political with it. We covered the Barack Obama rally in 2008 outside the north entrance of the soon to be demolished Amway Arena due to its historical significance. 50,000 people showed up to see the soon to be president address the city of Orlando. It was only 15 days before Obama would become the president of the United States. You can thank us for bringing him to Orlando first… (ok, you got us, we had nothing to do with him coming.)
#14 REHAB @ POUNDERS 1/20/08
Photo by: Kapow (See the full gallery here)
So what is so special here? Another typical nightlife picture of two girls making out. Well this night was special. We PACKED this now defunct club on the east side of Orlando called Pounders on a Sunday night for a special event we did called Rehab. There was no school the next day, and we capitalized to the fullest with ice luge’s, free champagne, and bumpin’ indie electro house (before it was cool). The best part was we were able to steal Kapow for this party, who was easily the best and most popular photographer in Orlando. She shot exclusively for Pauly Crush at the time so we were very excited to have her. She made a regular UCF party look like a masterpiece. This entire album shows just how amazing her work was. In my opinion she is hands down the best photographer Orlando night life has EVER seen. Check out the full gallery from this party to see her amazingly candid shots.
#13 NIGHT TIME FOAM POOL PARTY @ JEFFERSON VILLAGE 9/5/08
Photo by: Can’t remember (See the full gallery here)
Foam parties are pretty awesome. I remember back in my Firestone days the owner said he would never do a foam party again because he would find all kinds of disgusting shit when they would clean out the foam pit. Condoms, underware, you name it, they saw it. So when you combine a pool party, with a foam party, and then do it at night and throw glow sticks out to everyone you know you are asking for some crazy shit to happen.
Kid Disco AKA Full Effect AKA Junior Diaz killed it on the decks that night and made for quite a memorable evening.
#12 BIG FU*CKIN’ HOUSE PARTY @ KINGS HOUSE 11-28-08
Photo by: Colombia (See the full gallery here)
I think this is the best DJ line-up a house party has ever seen in Orlando. With DJs Deville, Justin James, Youngheartz, Erik Draven, and myself, and hosted by the voice of Roxy/”Rage” Saturday’s Eric James. This is another multi-picture entry, because sometimes a few pictures really do tell a story. Blood on the floor, weave in the chandler, and girls pooping… sounds like my kind of shindig!
#11 PUDDING WRESTLING SHIT SHOW @ POUNDERS 9-27-08
Photo by: J. Chris Callahan (See the full gallery here)
It was supposed to be pudding wrestling, but it looked more like the results of the bathroom scene from dumb and dumber. The best part of this picture may actually be the promotions that went into this event, mainly this video.
As you can see this was an easy clean up job.
ok, upon further review this was an unrelated, not nearly as successful pudding wrestling event. Either way it is still fitting.
#10 CLINT HOUSE PARTIES PRE-CASEY ANTHONY TRIAL TESTIMONY
Photo by: Erik Spradling (See the full gallery here)
You have seen this man featured on CNN, Fox News, NBC, CBS, Lifetime, etc! Clint House has a big mouth, and we all love it. Always speaking his opinion before using his brain, he gave us LOTS of entertaining material to blog about.
Clint is busy these days fighting to give Caylee Anthony “the justice that the court system failed to give her.” He has been pushing to get Caylee’s Law on to the senate floor ever since he heard the shocking verdict that stunned the nation a few weeks ago. We have to give Clint credit for coming so far! From his days with “Whats 2 Hot“, to his stint as a Jacksonville promoter, to the Orange County Courthouse Roy Clint has always been an OCC/LNH staple. All jokes aside, we are proud of this man for taking a stand and doing the right thing.
#9 DJ dLUX SAYS “FUCK IT” AND SMOKES WEED AT THE FINAL SHIT SHOW @ POUNDERS 10-5-08
Photo by: Colombia (See the full gallery here)
And like that it was all over. Pounders began to decline, so they remodeled and named the place “Octagon”. Terrible name, terrible idea. The only thing still happening in that building was our party Shit Show. The place would re-open after another remodel about a month later, but it was never the same. The vibe from Shit Show had officially taken a… shit. We came back with another party called Snatch, but by then our fun was over.
DJ dLux decided he was going out in a blaze of glory, literally, by blazing up a blunt right in the DJ booth. When the smoke cleared, the Shit Show was over.
#8 PENIS GRINDING ON ASS @ OCC HOUSE PARTY 10-26-08
Photo by: Colombia (See the full gallery here)
Well shit… we lost Shit Show, so I guess we decided to bring it back to our roots. Time to take it to the house! This young lady seems to have dropped something.
Oh wait, she just has a penis on her ass. Back in the heyday of Defame: Orlando, this photo was blogged with the following close-up image.
Yes I do believe that is what you think it is.
#7 DJ SERAFIN & FRIENDS AT STEREO @ ANTIGUA 1-22-09
Photos by: Joe Perri / Erik Spradling (See the full gallery here)
Special Guest DJ Serafin from Los Angeles made his Orlando debut at Stereo. He proved that asians can look good with blonde hair…
and Justin James proved he is still gay for wearing pink the 3rd time that week.
#6 TRAVIE MCCOY DJ’S AT SATURDAY/THURSDAY @ FIRESTONE
Photo by: J. Chris Callahan (See the full gallery here)
Travie McCoy is a great musician. He was good as a member of Gym Class Heroes, and not too shabby as a solo artist. He may want to be a millionaire, but he couldn’t have DJed properly if it was for a million dollars.
We watched him load up iTunes, and play a pre-recorded mix. It was a fun night though, and Travie managed to get the crowd hype during his “DJ set” at Firestone for the Warp Tour after party.
#5 STEREO BLACK OUT PARTY 5/14/09
Photo by: Erik Spradling (See the full gallery here)
I specifically remember some now well know Orlando house DJs, who were just kids playing in there bedrooms back then, telling me this party inspired them to DJ. I won’t mention any names, but they told me this party motivated them to throw their own parties, and gave them a huge desire to play for a large club audience (which they now have). We threw out 500 glow sticks, decked out Antigua with black lights, and made it cool to have glow sticks in the club again. Having your name painted on topless go-go dancers is pretty awesome, so I will gladly add this photo from that amazing event to the list.
#4 SHIT SHOW @ POUNDERS (ANY WEEK)
Photos by: J. Chris Callahan
The following screen shot of a recent Facebook comment left to me by Louie Diaz (AKA Kid Disco, Full Effect, Junior Diaz) pretty much sums up this party.
This was THE FIRST electro, house, dance party EVER in the UCF area. We were going against the grain, and playing music that these kids had NO CLUE about. Now it’s the norm…. once again you are welcome.
#3 STEVE AOKI (BEFORE HE PLAYED ALL OVER ORLANDO) AT SATURDAY/THURSDAY @ FIRESTONE 5/29/08
Photo by: J. Chris Callahan (See the full gallery here)
Steve Aoki has played in Orlando COUNTLESS times. So many times it is hard to keep track of. We are proud to say we brought him before he was a household name, and WAYYYY before he hit the Turbulence. His first appearance was in front of about 300 people in 2007 at Firestone, this night was before the crazy Steve Aoki that we all know now. He stood up on the stage playing records, and didn’t even move an inch. In his second of about fifty Orlando performances Steve served up quite a show, and brought out his crazy personality for the first time ever in Orlando. He was so wasted at one point he fell off the DJ booth, hitting his head on the stage. He blacked out for about 45 seconds, and then finally came to with a smile on his face. He resumed playing without missing a beat. This was by far one of the most memorable nights in OCC history. Being apart of the first show of its kind way before everyone else jumped on the bandwagon was something really special.
Steve also created this very awkward moment for me.
I think he may have been so drunk that he mistakenly believed he was at Mr. Sisters.
#2 SATURDAY/THURSDAY @ FIRESTONE (ANY WEEK)
Photos by: J. Chris Callahan, Erik Spradling, others.
S/T was an amazing party. We unfortunately were brought into the party at a very bad time creating all kinds of nightlife drama. Way too many years have passed for it to even matter anymore. I can only hope that people remember how good this party was for Orlando nightlife. Pauly Crush started a revolution, we tried to continue the movement. It felt so good to play the music I loved in front of 800-1000 people every week, and at a time when no one else in the city was doing it. S/T is a legendary party, and I don’t think anyone that experienced it could ever forget it.
#1 MÉSTER HYPÉ AKA Waka Flocka Flamingo @ EVERYWHERE 2011
Photos by: Ally Crunk
Out with the old and in with the new. We will award the #1 slot to Méster Hypé AKA Waka Flocka Flamingo because we believe the best for this website has yet to come, and that silly fucking flamingo somehow became the face of this amazing new crew. Méster Hypé, the official mascot of Last Night’s Hype has been EVERYWHERE lately. Dancing on the bar, crowd surfing, in-between your girlfriends legs, you name it he has done it. He is making a real mark on Orlando nightlife, and you can expect to see him out at the club for a long time to come. LNH is here, and we are not going anywhere for a VERY long time. So get used to our little flamingo, and if you see him out at the club give him a kiss and snap a pic with him. 
**HONORABLE MENTIONS**
- Bry Bry’s long finger -
- Last Night’s Hype goes gay -
- Guy has sex on dance floor at bar one -
- Chris Callahan climbs an abandoned gas station billboard -
- DJ Khaled performs at Fubar’s “Blocktoberfest” -
- Justin James wears Ed Hardy -
Shout out to dLux, I told you I would get this blog up (34 revisions later). That was a nice walk down memory lane. I was going to say something about how I hope to write another one of these blogs with amazing memories in four years, but honestly by then I will be WAYYYY to old for this shit, and hopefully DJing at mega clubs in Vegas (not to mention this shit took wayyyy to long). If not you can find me back in my race car bed at Mama Dawe’s.
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So ever wonder what happened behind the scenes at the bars/clubs we go to every week? Or what was the craziest photo of the week? How about the video footage that never gets used? Well I have finally come up with a way to inform our fellow hype crowd whats really going down in Orlando and what parties are crunk and well .. what are just NOT SO CRUNK.
I will be taking you through the week every following sunday and video-blog stories, video’s, and even photo’s that just were crazy enough to stick out in our albums. Hope you all enjoy!!!!
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There are some new Orlando promoters that just came up with a BRILLIANT idea. Let’s capitalize off of the dubstep craze, AND club drug resurgence at the same time! I introduce to you: Drug Step.
With this flyer I feel like I am about to enter some kind of Greco-Roman dubstep orgy. I can’t say I have personally heard of any of the DJs on this lineup, but with names like Reefa Madness and Frankasaurus who can resist! They must have been on some heavy drugstep when they came up with that. So what is this “Drug Step” party all about?
Oh, I get it now! You totally have me sold on this “Drug Step” party. Now the only thing I need are some drugs to do at this “Drug Step” event. I wonder where I can find some?
Looks like I can pick up some Molly RIGHT ON THE FACEBOOK INVITE PAGE! PERFECT!
So we have to ask:
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DJ dLux is going to kill me for making my first blog back to the site in months so meaningless. If I wasn’t writing this at 7am after a crazy night out it would probably make more sense and be much more entertaining, but with the sunlight creeping through my window this is the best I can do .
We had a great night out at Fubar tonight. Place was packed as it usually is on my Thursday night. The Last Night’s Hype crew and I made a little video wrap-up of the evening I would like to share. If you haven’t figured out yet it is just a matter of days, maybe hours, before the Orange County Concepts that you all know and love becomes “LastNightsHype.com”. I covered this a little bit in my last photo upload blog, basically We have been looking for a new name for quite some time now, and have gone through more short lived changes than a middle schooler hitting puberty. We feel like this name change to the blog reflects our website concept, and future outlook much better. So on that note, enjoy this video, and what will probably be the last blog post on OCC as you know it.
OH WAIT!!
There is a pool party today that should be pretty awesome! We will be there taking pictures and throwing Mr. Last Night’s Hype around in the pool. He needs a bath pretty bad after tonight. He looks dirtier than a sorority girls flip-flop wearing feet.
Music by DJ Brian ‘Docta’ Dawe (me) and DJ Jonny Quest, and maybe DJ dLux if he wants to show up (which would be pretty sweet.) Official LNH launch pool party coming soon, but this will have to do until then. Check the facebook invite here.
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So after I get home from the dentist this morning, I turn on the TV to watch a little SportsCenter. Luckily for me (and anyone that hates the Miami Heat), it was entirely centered around one thing: How badly LeBron James is choking in the NBA Finals. Even I’ll admit, after a while, it felt a little over the top. The anchors literally asked every, single person that appeared on the show to predict how many points he would score in tonight’s Game 5. But finally, after more highlights on top of some brutal commentary about the the so-called King’s dreadful Game 4 performance, Hannah Storm and Kevin Negandhi hit Bron-Bron with the knockout, uppercut haymaker as they introduce this hilarious, degrading montage. Within seconds, I hit the instant replay button on my DVR as I primed my phone to capture what I knew was about to be some funny ass shit:
You know, they are giving this guy a really hard time right now. At certain points, I find myself close to almost… feeling bad for the dude. But then I am quickly reminded of what a complete douche he is. He asked for every bit of this, from the deciding of “The Decision“, to that embarrassing, fateful day that he and his two buddies took to the stage and had a fruity ass pose-off to introduce themselves to Miami as some sort of sanctimonious superhero squad. Regardless, as he watched this today, I know that he was piiissed. In fact, it sounds like The Chosen One is just having a shitty day altogether… He mentioned to a reporter earlier that he wasn’t able to sleep much last night which has been the case as of late. And wouldn’t you know it, ol’ LBJ was up late last night, at 2:30 AM, venting his idiotic frustrations on Twitter:
Anyway, sorry to get off on such a tangent. This is where the real(ly funny) story begins. Different NBA analysts in the media are speculating that James’ poor performance may be due to some personal issues that he’s dealing with off the court. ESPN analyst Stephen A. Smith tweeted a comment regarding the situation earlier today which read:
Makes you think… What could be going on in LeBron’s personal life that would cause such a decline in performance? Who knows..? Well, apparently now, everyone does. Rumors are being heavily circulated that my man, Rashard Lewis (Washington Wizards Forward), banged had a sexual encounter with LeBron’s girlfriend, Savannah, during a visit to Miami. 97.9 KBXX The Box in Houston was the first to publicly report the story:
“I have a very reliable source who clubs and drinks with all of the athletes that come through Orlando. He was all over the Tiger Woods issue and knew what all happened with Tiger prior to it being released publicly. My buddy has a place in Orlando, Lake Nona to be exact, and he lives among some athletes that live there in Orlando. Needless to say he golfs, drinks, and parties with some of the best people in central Florida. So when word got to him while at the bar last night, he called me. Word got out while drinking with friends, that Rashard Lewis slept with LeBron’s girl while visiting South Beach.”
This is so hysterically funny to me for some reason. I guess I’m just an asshole. And it was so unexpected. And I will always look at Rashard as one of my favorite, beloved Magic players of all time. And LeBron… He’s just a real dick. Who even knows if the rumors are true, but what I do know is, Rashard Lewis was the #2 trend on Twitter in the US this afternoon and his name was in the top 10 trends worldwide. As a general rule of thumb when it comes to NBA players gettin’ it in with gold-diggers, where there’s smoke, there’s pretty much always fire. Just think back to the days when LeBron played for… uh, that one team in… Ohio I think? An alleged herpes-suffering teammate, Delonte West, was said to have had sex with the poor man’s mother. Okay, maybe I do feel a little bad for him. This really is just some flagrantly disrespectful shit. ….That being said, this tweet from i_InspireYOU that I saw earlier is fucking hilarious.
Of course this is going to add more fuel to the already absurd LeBron James media circus that is the NBA. But regardless of which current star of the league is having sex with the two-time MVP’s family members, this whole thing comes down to playin’ ball. Nothing else. Which team is going to grind it out and take the trophy? The series so far is truly a throwback to some classic match-ups that have taken place throughout the history of the renowned NBA championship playoff. Great players come back from a game like James just played in Game 4, and they are hungry for redemption. This is exactly what “the villain” wanted: all or nothing. Well he definitely got it, and tonight is his chance to prove himself. It’s gonna be a brawl on the parquet y’all! I suggest you tune into ABC and watch it go down, tonight, starting at 8:30.
Just for Fun Prediction: LeBron puts up 24 pts. Mavs win by 4.
*UPDATE* – Lebron goes for a triple double, scoring 17 points, but the Mavs still managed to beat the Heat by 9 points. In other news, I’m sorry to report that Rashard Lewis has denied all rumors regarding Lebron’s girlfriend and himself. Oh well, it was fun for a day.
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What up, Interwebz? This is The Donk reportin’ live from the 407. I’d like to thank DJ dLux for inviting me to be the newest contributor to the OCC site. I’m still kicking around a couple of good ideas for an entertaining blog. I haven’t quite decided exactly which direction I’m going to take it in, but I promise that it will be interesting. For now, one thing’s for sure – I spend an inordinate amount of time on the internet and take pride in being able to find fascinating and/or ridiculous shit to share with other people. This being the case, I’m going to use my first post as an opportunity to share some gratuitous, awesome YouTube videos in hopes that you will enjoy them enough to bring your ass back to my blog. So, OCC, I bring you:
10 YouTube Videos To Help You Waste Time Right Now
Coming in at #10 on the countdown, a video to make you remember. With the Miami Heat in the NBA finals this week, it’s beginning to feel like Lebron James is the only athlete in the world that anyone is hearing about right now. It is to be expected that the media will kiss Bron Bron’s ass all the way through the final game, but last week, one member of the media made a shocking statement that left me stunned. Scottie Pippen, in an interview with Mike and Mike in the Morning, made the comment, “Michael Jordan is probably the greatest scorer to ever play in the game, but… I may go as far as to say that LeBron James may be the greatest player to ever play the game.” I’m not trying to take anything away from LeBron, as much as I hate him, but Scottie? MJ’s fuckin’ sidekick?! C’MON SON! Dude is 26 , still trying to build a legacy, and uhh… ringless. I can’t imagine how the loyal fans of Chicago felt hearing those blasphemous words uttered from his mouth. Anyway, this video takes everyone back to the days that I was in elementary school, rockin’ my Bulls Starter jacket and sticking my tongue out whenever I got the ball at recess. Just a friendly reminder of who is truly the King.
Bonus: Best Cry Ever – James and Bosh react to the outcome of Game 2
This next video, at #9, has probably been seen by almost everyone by now. This chick is blowing up like a hipster at the Electronic Daisy Carnival. I’m talking about Kreashawn’s YouTube hit “Gucci Gucci”. DJ dLux even dedicated a whole post to how mean the broad is. It’s rumored that Kreayshawn has signed a million dollar deal with Sony solely because of the instant fame achieved from this video. I’m hesitant to even make this a part of the list because I feel like it’s already getting played out and it’s been posted everywhere (over 2 million views in about 2 weeks), but I just can’t help it. I’ve been bumpin’ this song since the day that it was uploaded on Kreayshawn’s YouTube channel.
Bonus: DJ dLux Chopped and Screwed Remix (Screwed up visual brought to you by yours truly)
The title of the #8 video says it all: Gimme the Butt Cheeks!!! This is a clip brought to you by Kain Carter. This kid is mad funny and his take on life never fails to crack me the fuck up. In this poignant proclamation to women everywhere, hotdamnirock explains the frustration that comes along with being led on.
Bonus: Kain explains why men cheat
I’d like to preface my next two picks, #7 and #6, by saying that I’m not a fan of America’s Got Talent. I watch some awful television shows and I’ve never even sat through an episode of it. But I must say, these two clips that seem to have gone viral this week since being seen on the show’s sixth season premiere, are pretty awesome. First up is a man by the name of Primitivo Montoya. Not only does he show off a set of pretty serious pipes, along with an arsenal of sexy dance moves, but this guy really brings it home with his cartwheel finale.
The next selection from the grammatically flawed America’s Got Talent, is a rap group from Atlanta known as the SH’boss Boys. The members’ ages are 5, 6, and 7 years old. As corny as it is, these kids are hilarious. Their confidence on stage for their age is just unheard of. One of them practically brings the audience to tears due to sheer cuteness during his pre-interview. Then when they hit the stage with their monster, elementary school anthem “I’m a G”, frankly, they shut the shit down.
#5 is truly shocking with it’s level of blatant ignorance. If you haven’t seen Mr. Ghetto’s video about what really goes down at Walmart, then holy shit, what are you waiting for? I just wish I was a part of this video production to see what the other Walmart-goers thought of these hoes actresses. It really is some of the skankiest shit I’ve ever seen in my life. Although I have to admit, I wish I got 1/10 of the action that Mr. Ghetto is pullin’ up in “Wally World”. I usually just get new socks or a frozen pizza or some shit.
The #4 video that I’m sharing with you to help you procrastinate from whatever else it is that you should be doing, shows Persian tennis superstar Mansour Bahrami at work. This guy is going hard in the paint. Opponents offer virtually no challenge for Mansour. Dude will take you 40-Love from a goddamn chair with his eyes closed while he eats a ham sandwich. On top of that, the whole time you find yourself thinking, “Damn, I would love to have a beer with this boss.” I have a feeling he drinks Dos Equis.
I’ll admit, this #3 pick comes with a little bias. This is a clip from Skrillex’s set at Vain Orlando for the Electric Daisy Carnival after-party. I had to post it because I was right up front in the crowd with DJ dLux and my boy Cliff. Let me just say, this show was FUCKIN… CRAZY. As my friends know, I’ve never even really been a fan of dubstep. But I do have to admit, Skrillex absolutely killed it that night. It gave me a newfound respect for the entire genre and kind of made me “get” the shit. It was wild, just check it out.
As a YouTube connoisseur of sorts, the #2 video brings me great joy. This is just an 8 and a half minute video of, well… people fucking up in the month of May. It’s a good ol’ classic YouTube fail compilation. From baseballs, to barbells, to wrecking cars, to wrecking lives, to just straight up falling the fuck over, this video pretty much has it all. While you’re watching it, just keep in mind that these are only videos from MAY! It used to take years to get enough footage for an epic fail video. Our species is really headed downhill rapidly.
NOW… it’s finally time for the #1 YouTube Video To Help You Waste Time Right Now. I came across this video late one night after some herbal refreshments, and no bullshit, I think it might be my favorite YouTube video of all time. This poor man, fisherman Bill Dance, has shittier luck than any other person probably… ever. He has apparently been doing this fishing show since 1968. This particular montage showcases the finest bloopers throughout the decades of Bill Dance Outdoors. He is seriously the Tim “The Tool Man” Taylor of the fishing world. These bloopers are just unbelievable. I guarantee that you will laugh your assss off watching Bill’s antics.
Well that’s it. My first post. I hope if you were looking to kill some time and waste your life, I was able to help. If you enjoy my taste in bullshit, check back soon. If you didn’t enjoy it…
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