Disclaimer: None of this blog should be taken to heart. It is merely my observations based on what I have seen or heard presented in an extremely satirical fashion. So if I mentioned you, just thank me for the few friend requests you get or attention it brings you. Just remember, having haters means you’re obviously doing something right, even if its wrong. There is no such thing as bad publicity.
Brian Dawe recently set off a shockwave across the Book of Faces with that status update. In a matter of 40 minutes it had 40+ comments with everyone putting in their two-cents on the flat out EPIDEMIC that seems to be plaguing the Orlando nightlife scene and most likely the nation: the bad, low-balling, terrible “DJs”.
Like I said, everybody had to chime in, and while there were some good points brought out, there were a TON of stupid ones. So I am here to dissect your responses, some good, but mostly flat out terrible and tell it like it is. Thankfully, unlike most of the people with these awful responses, I have a public forum of my own, being this beautifully re-done website which is one thing they lack, to rip you apart on. If I offend you, I’m
Lets start with DJ Frost/Firas Laurent/Bames Jond, who made a very strong point days before Dawe chimed in on the subject.
My opinion? It is very stale. Every single club has those three magic words on all their flyers (and most of the time just a Facebook event): House, Electro, Dubstep…and its always in highlighter colors. It’s not new anymore, its extremely tired. Will it go away? Probably not. Will you most likely see my name attached to one of the events? Perhaps. But that doesn’t mean I can’t admit that it’s stale. What I can do is go in there and hopefully infect you with music from those genres presented in a way that you don’t hear when you are at the other clubs.
Now, let’s take a look at some of the bad comments. We’ll start with this guy who clearly should be taken serious as a DJ because he has a pair of Beats By Dr. Dre headphones.
His point seems somewhat valid, but he typed it like a fucking idiot, used no punctuation, and the captial letter at the beginning of every word thing just reeks of stupidity so therefore it is void. Let alone him using the wrong “their” in his sentence didn’t help me take him serious. I would love to see a press pack from this guy or even a bio on him as a DJ as I’m sure it is an incredible piece of literature. Just because you have a pair of $300 headphones that aren’t even that good let alone don’t swivel, doesn’t mean we have to take you seriously. Go back to Bliss, never go outside of a 120-135 BPMs, and make sure those headphones don’t mess up that sweet mohawk.
Moving along…
That may be right, I understand that people are on a budget and might not be able to make the jump to the ever popular fruit company that Forrest Gump spoke of. I will ask this though: what famous DJ do you know that uses anything BUT an Apple? Marinate on that and let me know because it may take you a minute. Any DJ that IS using a PC eventually wants to move out of their black & white world and come over to the world of vivid color that we see on this side.
There is also an extreme downside to this because now with Apple having their App Store on all computers, that little program that is one of the seeds of this disease Brian is talking about is easily available, and free for that matter: Virtual DJ. Now anybody who downloads the app, checks Hype Machine regularly, had a bunch of stupid girls/guys at a house party dancing, who just so happens to be friends with someone at a club, feels that they deserve to have their own night and literally shit in peoples ears for 4 hours on a Friday. NEXT!
Video DJing is not that much different than regular DJing, especially on Serato. Yes, you are dealing with something visual so there is more to pay attention to and your transitions are a tad more complex but I picked it up with ease honestly. You’re still looking at the same waveforms that everyone else is so don’t act like its some big step up. There is no digging when it comes to playing videos really, you either have SmashVidz, or you don’t. I’ve seen you have gigs at Blue Martini here in Orlando and you’re doing your thing out in Tampa so no disrespect here, just clearing the air. NEXT!
The only feelings that should be hurt are that guys own. His 12 year old that he just taught how to use Virtual DJ could probably make a better mixtape cover than the ones he’s making himself. By the way, Darren DJ Trendkiller Dehler is the man and definitely respected amongst the Last Nights Hype crew just for his sheer amount of sarcasm and hatred for all the dickhead DJs in this town. NEXT!
Ryan King reminding us that low-ballers are everywhere. NEXT!
Meet part of the problem, DJ Wiplash. This guy IS one of the $50 DJs that is destroying this town. He will deny, deny, deny, but believe me, its true. He gets fucked in the ass on a weekly basis by one of the many cheapskate spots downtown, Boss. You know, the place that was suppose to have Edward Maya perform Stereo Love and it just turned out to be a scam? Yeah, them. This walking train wreck is the epitome of terrible and I have heard it from more than one DJ that has regretfully had to share a night with him. Ever wanted to the hear the Elton John song from the Lion King “Can You Feel The Love Tonight” at 12:30am just when things should be popping off? Then this is your guy. I’m not talking about the Danny Diggz remix or anything, I’m talking straight album cut. He is also apart of the you-should-take-me-seriously-because-I-have-Beats-Headphones club. Roaming through this guys pictures he can’t decide whether he wants to gel his hair or wear a hat so he just does both.
How many weeks at $50 a pop did it take you to buy that sweet snake chain bro? Or that awesome bracelet to match? Maybe it was when you were on tour with LMFAO, right? Right. NEXT!
Last but certainly not least, this guy is the one that got Dawe fired up in the first place. Meet one of the people responsible for re-opening a spot downtown that has had about a 6 month turnaround for about well, forever. Bar One is across from Jimmy Johns downtown and they use to own this DUMP out at UCF called….wait for it….wait for it…TDs! They have made their way downtown with the rest of the UCF bar owners to cut costs in every way possible, make profits and they are doing so by have a DJ play there FOR FREE at the moment. That’s right, FREE! I’m sure the caliber is just top notch over there as I’m sure the decision making process will be in management and months to come. Whoever this free DJ is, he is doomed to never make more than $50 cause he already sold himself short. I understand being hungry to get a spot but if you’re doing a free show it better be in front of guaranteed 500+ people and the networking opportunities have to be visibly there.
In conclusion, will the bullshit DJs ever go away? No. Are we ever going to be able to stop club owners from looking for the cheapest DJ possible? Hopefully. The amount of acts that are getting brought to this town as far as DJs goes has been steadily on the rise but I swear if I have to hear about Steve Aoki coming here again I’m just gonna lose it. The clubs obviously have the money to spend $15,000 on someone, so why not skim through the bullshit and maybe find a really good local DJ that you can rely on for $200 a night. Orlando needs to start building its own stars from within rather than always outsourcing. Look at the Takeovr DJs. Roxy has given their party legs and its the biggest Tuesday night in town, and about to celebrate being around for 2 years. Instead of giving up on the DJs and the party after 3 weeks because its costing you too much money, give it time to build up. There is no success without failure, and hiring a $50 DJ, let alone a Virtual DJ, will never bring you success.
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